Horse Life

Not Dead, I Swear

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus recently. Not that I’m on social media regularly as it is, but I at least used to be good about checking out everyone else’s blogs. Life has just been crazy and if I’m being truly honest, I needed a break from seeing everyone else riding their horses (pretty much all that fills up my FB/IG feeds).

For me, riding has been sporadic at best. I ride B (grey OTTB gelding #3) here and there, but P’s rehab takes up most of my allotted barn time. And rehabbing with P is nothing that anyone wants to read about. Usually for the 30 minutes, we just discuss how bored we are. Ok, I ramble on about being bored. P just tries to eat me.

Or tries to eat the lead line. Whatever.

I remain highly impressed with how he’s kept his sanity (today is day 82 of stall rest). So far, BO has had to give him 2mL of Ace ONE time (cold weather had horses running); other than that, he still is as chill as ever in his stall. Had it been me locked in a room for months on end, I’d have fully lost it by now.


I’m hoping beyond hope that there’s an end in sight, though. P goes back Wednesday for his 7 week re-check and as long as he hasn’t been secretly melting down, he should be cleared to canter. The vet had said if the tendon can hold up to cantering, he can start to go outside again, but I’m not sure if he meant that being cleared to canter will mean he’s also cleared to go outside at the same time, or if he wants him cantering for a period of time before he can be cleared to go out. I’m hoping for #1. I’m sure P would gladly vote for that option as well.

Pretty sure he’ll never go in a stall again once he gets out

Though the prospect of turning P out gives me a knot in my stomach. Especially with the wet winter we’ve so far been having- everything is muddy. BO joked that she wanted to keep him in until May when the ground wasn’t so soft, but it might not be the worst idea.

Don’t tell P I said that.

On days that I have the time, I still get on him so he knows he’s not exactly retired. I tend to get on for the last 5 minutes or so, but yesterday got on for 10…and then didn’t want to get back off. I’ll admit I may have shed a tear or two as I walked him back up to the barn- I really just want to go do the fun things with my horse again.

I’ll even settle for doing a dressage test. Clearly I’m desperate.

While we definitely had our share of rough times, I miss riding him so much. Last November for sure beats this one.

And if/when he’s cleared to jump, it’s going to be awhile before we’re doing anything super fun again.

Less of this:

July 2018

More of this:

First jump; January 2015

Though I for sure won’t be the first one jumping this horse. I’d probably expire from sheer terror that he’ll fully snap his tendon. So that honor will be going to Trainer B. I’ll likely be rocking in the corner with my eyes screwed shut and my fingers in my ears like a full-on crazy person.


Cross your fingers for good news Wednesday!

27 thoughts on “Not Dead, I Swear”

  1. I totally get the “I don’t need to see how happy you all are while I am over here all sad.” Totally fair to feel that way. I’ve been there and probably most of us have, if that’s any consolation? Sometimes I look at June and don’t even want to love her, or enjoy her, because I’m so worried she is going to hurt herself and I have to go through all of it again.
    Glad you’re getting some time back in the saddle and fingers majorly crossed for Wednesday!


  2. I was just going to email you today to check in 🙂 so nice of you to blog post instead!! HA omg longest time off ever 🙂 I hope the check up goes great on Weds!!! Fingers, eyes, toes all crossed! Is gray tbred # 2 okay now? And I am impressed #3 is still going 😉 HA HA HA (Can you tell I missed you!)


  3. ughhhhh 82 days….. what an eternity 😦 rehab is the actual worst, but i’m so glad to hear that P is dealing well with it! hopefully everything goes well with the recheck and starting to canter again! and even more hoping that Pilgrim comes back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and like one million dollars!


    1. It really does feel like it’s been an eternity. One of the other boarders recently told me she couldn’t believe he’s been rehabbing since August- that it felt like it was flying by. Made me want to punch a baby 😂


  4. i feel you. rehab is awful. It makes you wonder why you like horses, or if it’s worth it, or if you’re even a rider or just a weird hand walking nurse. and you almost dont even want to go ‘back to normal’ because what if you go back to normal and they do it again and the you have to do 82 MORE days of stall rest.

    after splintzilla, runkle came up lame right before christmas. maybe it was something else, maybe it was the splint, maybe it was the splint impinging on the suspensory. i hopped off, put him away, and left for the holidays. i put the incident completely from my mind. When I came back he didn’t take another lame step, it was just a freak lameness.

    trust the work you’ve put in, and remember that just because he limps one day doesn’t mean he broke his whole leg dooming you to years of hand walking again.


    1. 100% that’s what I’m already worrying about- that I’ll freak out over every misstep from here on out. I should probably just go ahead and purchase my own ultrasound machine (and classes to learn how to read the thing) to save me from the inevitable weekly vet appointments I’ll no doubt be making 😂😂

      I’m going to need to take a page from your book for sure!


  5. I can’t believe how long it’s been! I’m really hoping for a positive outcome, I think you deserve it and I think P is going to appreciate turnout more than ever.


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