Work has been crushing me- seems like the summer, which is typically a slow period for me, was over in the blink of an eye and everything needs to be done RIGHT. NOW.
Not too much has been up with P. Just, ya know, getting eliminated on cross-country at a “confidence-building” HT, going an entire week not stopping at a thing (including his first ever Training trakehner), then getting a chance to redeem himself where he goes clear over a super spooky stadium course, then on XC gets us eliminated again…at jump 3.
He almost didn’t make it home at all. Driving home after the 2nd one, there lots of huge fields with horses and I thought quite seriously about pulling over, unloading him, and setting him free. His lip tattoo is difficult to read- it’d be really hard to trace him to me at all. Only half kidding.
Needless to say, I spent the next few days writing P’s “For Sale” ad (to sell him as a reiner), and stalking horse ads for my replacement mount, until Trainer B ruined it all by talking me off the ledge.
I’m tired of talking about P stopping. I’m tired of thinking about P stopping. I just want to jump jumps and be happy.
Because I’ve made every excuse in the book to explain his stopping.
This is no longer true. No, he doesn’t have a ton of eventing experience, but he’s done it enough that he knows his job. When I point him down centerline, you can literally feel him become a professional. He knows when he’s pointed at a jump, the intent is for him to go over. And he’s been over enough jumps enough times to know that he’ll be fine. He also has stopped enough that he knows he’ll be disciplined and still have to jump it. Yet, the punishment is worth it to him and I have no idea why.
I’m not that good of a rider. If I were better, he wouldn’t stop.
Again, not something that’s true any more. No, I’m not suddenly God’s gift to riders, but I’ve come SO FAR this past year. Never have I been more confident, secure and balanced in the saddle. And P doesn’t even seem to appreciate that, or give any indication that he notices (how dare he, right?). There have been jumps where I’m literally pulling on his face, flopping around trying to get my stirrup back on my foot, and he jumps. And there have been times where the stars have aligned and everything is perfect, and he stops. There’s no rhyme or reason for either to happen.
I have a few trains of thought going here. I’ve talked to Trainer B at length about this a couple times over the phone while he’s been gone, and his take on things is that P believes his job is negotiable. He knows how to fake me out, and what buttons of mine to push to get me to back off (throwing his head and flailing around in the canter, stopping and spinning) so that he doesn’t have to work hard. I can see his point of view, and 95% agree.
But I also can’t push down the thought that perhaps something is going on with P physically. While he’s not lame and he doesn’t look or act like he’s sore or off, he occasionally will take a step that feels like his hind end has fallen out from under him, usually at the trot, sometimes at the walk. He always carries on like it didn’t happen, and it doesn’t happen often, so I’ve been just attributing it to weakness that MOAR hillwork will help fix. The other thing that happens is that occasionally in the downward transition from canter to trot, he gets all disunited in the hind end and has to come down to the walk for a second to get reorganized. Again, doesn’t happen often and he always carries right along, so I just thought with more fitness that would fix itself.
The other reason I sort of think it might be physical is because it’s hard for me to believe that this is his personality. We’ve all seen the crazy things this horse does for me, right? He obviously trusts me enough to put himself into whacky situations, but doesn’t trust me enough to hop over a log?
We were supposed to go to Windridge in 2 weeks for our recognized debut together at Novice. It would be my first recognized HT *not* at the starter level, and P’s 2nd. But after the last 2 weeks, I decided no, let’s not have the first entry on my record be “E.” I was going to scratch, but Trainer B offered to take him so he’s still going to go, and hell, he’ll probably jump it all. Of course I’m incredibly thankful for Trainer B because it’ll be another notch in the experience belt for P, but I want to compete my horse. Scratch that. I don’t want to compete him, but I want to WANT to compete my horse. Big difference right now.
If he needs a 4* rider to get around a BN course, then clearly I’m all wrong for him. Because…never going to happen, kid. I try my best every ride to be correct, but I’m an amateur with limited time and will, quite frankly, never be at the skill level of Trainer B. He’s so ammy friendly in every other way, I just can’t figure this out.
He’ll be seeing the vet in short order, to see if there’s something that has been previously missed to explain this behavior, and then Trainer B and I will plan from there.
So there’s my doom and gloom for the day. Now I’m going to catch up on everyone else’s blogs (feels like forever since I read anything from anyone), and hope you all had a much better week than I did!